To be like a Lovebird

“To dwell above with the saints in love – that will be glory!  

To dwell below with the saints I know – that’s another story.” 

A. J. Raitt

This quote is taken from a little book I have been reading, with short stories about church members. Mainly about the mistakes Christians make. Mistakes that actually apply to all of us, all of the time not just in church. And the lessons from this book can be applied at work, at home with our family and life in general. Relationships are the chemistry of life and sometimes we ruin both by our wrong impressions and our cloudy outlook of other people. My friendly smile will receive a warm welcome reaction and a genuine friendship will break through. A frown or angry face? that's too many wrinkles in just a few minutes.

So the writer uses eight different birds to describe our behavior, I have taken some of the birds from his book and some of the writers descriptions (can’t give it all away) and added some of my own little ‘nuggets’ because I am a very keen birdwatcher (both kinds of birds) so let me introduce you to some of them....

Straight-laced Nitpicker

Related to the vulture family, it is noted for its ability to spot flaws from a great distance. This bird sees everything in one tone or hue (monochromatic vision) and it is easily recognised by the beam in its eye, the bird has other handicaps too. 

Yes we know people like this, the ones that comment and find faults in everything you do but they just can’t do any better. Very irritating and discouraging.

Jaded Pew-warmer

The knowledgeable bird watcher will find this bird quickly. This bird can only be seen at special times, it has a limited range of habitat, it is almost never found at prayer meeting but can easily be seen in the car park during sermons and other occasions. 

Mmm that’s a special bird, maybe we have all done this before...just sit and never participate.

Teenaged Twitterpate

Colourful plumage and constant twittering, always in pairs. Population declining because of the Straight-laced Nitpickers. This bird can be mistaken for Jaded Pew-warmer and sometimes behaves the same but it is quite different. The plumage and twittering is part of elaborate ‘courtship’ dance.

Other birds need to tread carefully around this bird or it will fly away quickly!

Duck-billed Platitude

Immediately recognised by its loud call, high sounding with hollow ring to it.  It is not a true bird (more like a chicken) but is found in the company of Nitpickers and Pew-warmers. It occurs commonly in special functions and sermons for some reason. And Teenaged Twitterpates prey on it constantly.

Boring bird like the name suggests, its stale has nothing nice to say or do!

Lovebird

Well known for its colour, love, joy, peace, beautiful song, gentle and meek. This species does not occur naturally. Each Lovebird must be individually reared, hand held and perfected over the years. A more exact description is difficult to give, since Lovebirds have been successfully developed from each of the species listed above. Variation exists at each stage of development. It should be noted that the Creator of this remarkable bird has been described as a dove, a mother hen, an eagle caring for its young.

Wow! We should all strive to become like Lovebirds.

I looked in my bird book and this is what it says about Lovebirds  - lovable and affectionate birds. They make a strong bond with both their breeders and owners and the relation is lifelong. Their name also suggests their lovely nature. They like attention, hence, they are kept in pairs and spend their whole day chattering and twittering with their partner. They can also mimic human voice and love to kiss. 

Lovebird – us humans. Lovely Nature. Strong bond with owner – strong bond with God. Relation is lifelong! 

We should all be more like Lovebirds, happy with each other’s company and loving more instead of fighting. 

*sigh*

If only....

Practice what you preach

For some people it's always easier to fight for their principles than to live up to them.  They have enormous amounts of knowledge but they don’t share or teach.  They don’t see you through the bad times but they see through you; they always see the bad in you.  Always looking for someone or something more perfect and spot free. 

For some people if you are not 100% flawless, perfect, skinny, pretty, witty etc, etc, etc then you are just not good enough.  Instead of building you up and mentoring you teaching and up lifting you they put you down.  They have loads of snow white perfect principles and morals but do not live up to majority of them! They should know that the only time you look down on people is when you are helping them get up! Why make others feel little?   

It’s disappointing.  It’s sad. 

Do I sound angry? Maybe I am a little but I am more disappointed than anything else. 

I am smiling though because I am thinking of someone I have known for a good few years...can’t remember how long.  She is a work colleague and someone that has had and continues to have a positive effect on me.  She lives up to her morals and principles and although we are so different and our religions are worlds apart I learn from her all the time.  I admire her positive and gentle attitude towards life and people.

If I have a problem at work – she listens, supports me and offers advice

If I have a problem or complain about the boys – she listen, laughs, tells me a story about her nephews and offers advice

If I have something to say about my hubby – she listens, sympathises and offers advice on how I can become a better wife.  Here I usually ask “who’s friend are you anyway?”

Even when things are tough at work and she is the one taking the pressure – she talks to me about her troubles and worries but still manages to see the positive and say something good about the person giving her a hard time. 

so different but so close 

This is the one person that never makes you feel bad about yourself, never runs you down or thinks she is in any way better than you or others.  Always has something nice to say to you no matter how many times you have been a disappointment.

At the beginning of this month she came to me to apologise for any wrong doing before she left for her Hajj trip. She was so sincere and humble she made me feel bad. This is the person that lives and practices what she preaches, she is the one with the positive attitude and outlook towards other people.

I really admire that and can’t wait for her return so we can catch up over coffee and I can sit quietly and listen to my wise friend Zak.

Can I hold you one more time?

January 2007 - first day of high school

A milestone is a stage in your life that marks the completion of a phase. It’s a high level event and it could be in your career, spiritual or love life, or it could just be a physical or emotional development you have reached.

When you have a baby you know that any baby book you pick up is FULL of milestones that parents look forward to and if you don’t follow them from a book then you spend your life comparing your children with every other child.  And I don’t mean that in a bad way it’s just the way life is, life revolves around them for a few years and we eat drink and sleep children.  Talk about them all the time even when it is not appropriate somehow they always pop up into the conversation.  Then for some time you stop anticipating those milestones. Hey they can walk and have said so many words and have all their teeth that you kind of forget about them for a while and you just wish they’d hurry up and grow up!

From growing pains to big feet to voice changes and hair on the face it all happened in a blink of an eye. When they reach their teens they become more independent, they know everything, mood swings set in (oh yes boys have them big time). And they form some kind of weird identity that you are not quite sure you understand or like.  They want a lock in their bedroom door, all of a sudden they develop a taste for some horrible music and they can and do choose their own clothes. They express their feelings, tell you when they are angry and give you opinions you don’t like all the time ... pfft as if I was ever allowed to have an opinion when I was a kid!

Milestones this year ... they are too many and too close.

The first day of high school is so close to the last day that it’s scary!

Honestly where did these last five years go?

I blinked and already we have reached that ONE scary milestone in life – Moo has officially finished school! Matric final exams start this coming Monday and then he is going out into the real world.

October 2011 - last day of high school

I’m writing this and my eyes can’t hold back the tears anymore, they are rolling down my cheeks and I ask you my child –
“Can I hold you one more time before you grow, can I do your tie again?  Let me put toys in your bath tonight and comb your hair one last time.  Let me help you with your homework....tell me about your day and hug me again around my waist.
I'll tell you your favorite story tonight and fall asleep in your bed.
I want to be a part of every little thing you do. 
Can I hold you one more time?”

What an emotional milestone we have reached in our lives, my hubby and I, he seems to be coping with it all and I am falling apart. I know, I know this is all part of life and I will be smiling again soon, but today I want to be sad just because I can.  

Tell me my child can I hold you one more time before you grow?

October is purple

October is my favorite month of the year. 


It is definitely warm now and there is no confusion we know that summer is here.  It is raining and everything is green and fresh and looking clean.  I just love October.  It is also the month of my wedding anniversary...so another reason to love the purple month.

October month is jacaranda month. And the whole month is purple!
I have not been to Pretoria for some time so don't know how it looks now....But Jozi right here on my door step is beautiful and purple.


I am not going to apologize for the purple slide show that is to follow....


These were taken in Bedfordview area 

...just as I get closer to Jeppe High School, I love it when I reach this road and I'm meat by this huge old tree...

I love the smell after the rain, sweet delicate perfume of the purple flowers.  

This is a small park in Turffontein - Rotunda Park - it is filled with trees inside and around the park.  A little treasure in Turffontein.

  

A Jacaranda tree stands tall, and sways as if to say, 

forgive the way I shout aloud, my lack of modesty,

I’m wearing blue today!

Light rays slide between each leaf, 
to settle on the tips 
You only have to lift your eyes to greet the filtered sun
a sight I guarantee will warm your heart.


Though very tall, my leaf is small, its form is one of fern, 
Look up to see each fern like leaf, floating up on high, 
See how far my branches reach, admire their greenery, 
so beautiful and strong, I am the Jacaranda tree.
-- by Anne Beard


Hope you enjoy this as much as I do, beautiful month of October and the Jacaranda tree 

Twenty one years

We met in December 1988 and under the moonlight and beautiful starry starry night in the Kruger National Park we fell in love.  We were engaged in October 1989 and married October 1990!

It started with a huge celebration with family and friends, and like any other couple we both had hopes and dreams.  Along the way we have sometimes found the road a bit bumpy where we have been forced to stop change a flat tire, get a whole engine overall or just fill up with petrol and then we continue our journey…

Over the last 21 years I have learned that our marriage is an alliance, where two newlyweds have become two old weds.  Apart from love you need to have commitment to each other and to the marriage.  You have to really listen to each other, talk things through and listen.  You need to give each other room for individual growth.  You need to forgive each other over and over again, mmm I think patience also comes in here somewhere very close to forgiveness. 

Marriage is a union an agreement.  It is not a chain but it’s a whole lot of tiny little threads which sew two people together through the years. Marriage is not just about finding the right partner but being the right partner.  It’s such hard work (until you have kids) honestly saying ‘I do’ is easy.  It’s like the happy ending of a movie and we are living it backwards, we live the happy ending first then go straight into the bad patches and hard work. Should be the other way round.   

If I could turn the clock and go back 21 years…I would do it again with the same person I know today. This is for him – I love you – our wedding was many years ago, but the celebration continues to this day.  

This is for you babes -

One look, one smile, one touch, one embrace, one kiss, one love, two people, two minds, two souls, two destinies, one road, one journey, one ending, together. 

Wedding Invitation

You're invited ....


to our 21st Wedding Anniversary next week Sunday the 9th of October.  Don't miss it!

    xxx

Tia Fernanda

Tia
...too well loved to be forgotten, you will always missed and will be forever in our hearts, you were gone too soon.  

Gone too soon.

Like a rainbow 

fading in the sky.

Like the sunlight 

on a cloudy day.

Like a sand castle 

on the beach 

Like a sunset leaving us

with the rising of the moon

You were gone too soon

My auntie, I will remember you as the laughing, pretty fun loving person you were.  You loved to dance and party, loved to laugh.  Loved your family.  A good cook (maybe too much garlic) but a good cook for sure.  I loved your laugh and I loved how you always said 'beijoca' instead of 'beijinhos' how you called everyone 'meu amor' and 'quiducha' was a word you used often.  

The boys called you 'nhoca nhoca' and your other name - 'tia rock & roll' was a perfect description of the fun loving person you were.   
I will always remember and treasure the last time we were together and the fun we had on the London underground and in our long walk through the city.  So grateful for having that memory and that beautiful last day with you.  I am sorry those days are gone for ever but I know the memories will live on...

I will smile because you have lived, open my eyes and see what you have left, be full of love for what you shared with us and cherish your memory and let it live on, that's what you would have wanted.


love you and will miss you madly

xoxo